stupid and worthless trivia: strange cuisines

I've collected some weird food from all over the world. I didn't include the usual insects and worms because, we already know that. And we've already been through that phase. Also the Arctic cuisine is omitted since we know, Arctic people have very different habits, but maybe they have too. But plenty is left of the other weird stuff. I think you should try it all. Twice. On the streets of your very own country. And share your food.

Oh, and no pictures because many things on this list are not funny. You'll understand.

(my source is the internet, not my own experience. It's not like I ate it all or something)

Africa:

- Blood: blood. They (the Maasai people) eat, drink blood, and yes, way before Twilight.

Asia:

- Bull Penis: like there are no other less disgusting things to eat.

- Cod fish Sperm: and yes, it looks exactly like you're eating sperm.

- Duck Fetus Egg or Balut: this is truly really like really almost unbelievable. You open up an egg and you see the fetus of a duck. Then, you eat it. They call it sometimes egg with feet. Does not help.

- Rotten Soybeans: glad we've been through the duck fetus because after reading that, this is nothing.

- Snake wine: lighter fluid with a venomous death snake in. "Oh well, gimme a bottle with a death snake in. And make sure she's venomous."

China:

- Breast Milk: cooked breast milk. It's like drinking warm milk. Only it came from a woman's breast.

- Roast Pigeon Brains: the skull is crunchy and you suck the brains out. You suck the brain out like you're sucking from a lollipop. That can't be hard. Oh wait, there's a pigeon skull involved and it's brains.

East Europe:

-P'tcha: calves feet. Yeah, I know, this sounds pretty normal in comparison with what other people tend to eat.

France:

- Calve's Head: calve's head. With brains. Maybe they can learn something from China here: forget the fork, forget the knife. Just suck it out.

Hong Kong:

- Cat

- Monkey Brains: the brains are eaten from the open skull of a live monkey and that makes it the most disgusting thing I've ever read someone actually eat, voluntary. Hands down.

Hungary:

- Pig Blood: pig blood with scrambled eggs. "Don't forget the scrambled eggs because otherwise it's just pig blood. And we all know that won't make any sense."

Indonesia:

- Bats: smoked bats

- Kopi Luwak: the Luwak is an Indonesian cat that only eats coffee cherries but can't digest them. So they poop out the coffee bones. There's your coffee. "My coffee came out of India and your's? A cat's butt? Serious? I don't know what to say now."

- Monkey Toes: deep fried monkey toes, eat it off the bone. And you know, monkey toes are long. I'm sure they look nice on a plate.

Iraq:

- Pacha: a boiled sheep's head. With eyes and everything. Looks everything but tasty. Don't google it.

Italy:

- Cibreo: a cock's comb. This is actually funny. This is the one thing that is actually funny.

Japan:

- Baby Bees/Bee Larves

- Raw Squid: you know it's fresh when the squid is still moving in your plate and in your mouth. And that's exactly how it sounds: a party with a living squid in your mouth. A whole lotta shakin' goin' on.

- Tuna Eyeball: yup, eyeballs. How can someone came up with that idea? Let's eat eyeballs. Cannot resist them.

Korea:

- Baby Mice Wine: little baby mice are stuffed alive into a bottle of rice wine to ferment. Only the very sight of it is horrible and downright animal cruelty. No, wait. You just have to read these lines to realize that you will never ever gonna try that. Baby mice in rice wine. Ehmm, anyone cares for a pizza? I think I've just passed my tolerance level. Right now. For a week or two. Maybe a month or seven.

- Kim Chee: fermented vegetables with fermented meat/fish, aged. Just. Don't. Smell. It.

Malaysia:

- Chicken Feet

Mexico:

- Taco Sesos: tacos made with cow brains. Like cows are that smart. Their brain is useless, so why not put it in a taco.

Norway:

- Sheep Head: a sheep head smoked for a couple of days and served half. You eat the tongue and eyes as well. Why half? The Iraqi people eat the whole stuff.

Philippines:

- Dogs

Poland:

- Jellied Cow's Foot: a cow's foot cooked for hours (you have to evacuate the house because of the smell), then refrigerate. Served with horseradish to kill the taste. So, in order to prepare it you have to evacuate the house because of the smell. And in order to eat it you have to add something to kill the taste. So, what's the point? It smells bad, it tastes horrible. And everyone agrees on that. So again, what's the point? Because the common sense just seems to be not quite there.

Sardinia:

- Maggot Cheese: they left the cheese out so flies lay their eggs in it. Cheese with the eggs of flies in it. Pretty bad but it's getting worse. Maggots came crawling out of the eggs and then the magic starts. That's right it's getting worse: they spread it on bread (including the living maggots) and eat it. They call it a delicacy. While eating you need eye protection (since the larves can jump up) and besides that it may cause vomiting and bloody diarrhea since the larves stay undigested. It's also illegal to eat it. So hard not to laugh while reading.

Slovenia:

- Stewed Dormice: a stew of mice raised and fattened for cooking. Animal cruelty. Again.

Spain:

- Criadillas: bull testicles, cooked or barbecued. "Hi, I brought some testicles for the barbecue."

Sweden:

- Surströmming: fermented herring. It's forbidden to take it on a flight because it's dangerous. And people eat this. Enough said.

Thailand:

- Rat

- Rice Bugs: rice bugs are very big insects that eat rice. They don't eat the insects but pop their head off and suck the rice out. Don't try to imagine this.

Ukraine:

- Salo: pig fat stored in vats, eaten cold, raw, smoked, fried or boiled. Pig fat.

USA:

-Scrapple: pig's head with organ meat and corn meal fried for breakfast. I only add this because I thought it was funny that people are willing to eat a fried pig's head for breakfast. Funny but in a way also very disturbing.

- Mountain Oysters: testicles of young bulls, usually fried. And they eat also testicles of other animals. They eat testicles of any animal at anytime.

US South:

- Squirrel Brain: you cook the head and the whole body and crack the skull open with your fingers and fork. Tasty. They crack up the skull of Chip and Dale (Knabbel en Babbel) and eat their brain. This is a child's nightmare. Sure they like it in US South.