- Alright Brain, you don't like me, and I don't like you. But let's just do this, and I can get back to killing you with beer.
- Asleep at the switch? I wasn't asleep, I was drunk!
- If something is too hard, give it up. The moral, my boy, is to never try anything.
- Heh heh heh! Lisa! Vampires are make believe, just like elves and gremlins and eskimos!
- Son, when you participate in sport events, it's not wether you win or loose, it's how drunk you get.
- Hello? Operator! Give me the number for 911!
- Oh Lisa! You and your stories! Bart is a vampire! Beer kills braincells! Now let's go back to that ... building ... thingy ... where our beds and tv ... is.
- Kids, if he (grandpa) starts acting weird, lead him down into the basement.
- This donut has purple in the middle, purple is a fruit.
- A hundred bucks for a comic book! Who drew it, Michaelmelangelo?
- If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now, quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers...
- So they have internet on computers now.
- Bart, with 10, 000 dollars, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like ... love!
- I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.
- Well, it's 1 a.m. Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids.
- Maybe, just once someone will calling me "Sir" without adding, "You're making a scene."
- When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on tv!
- (Meeting aliens) Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kinds. Eat them!
- What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.
- Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
- Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.
- It's not esay to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.
- I want to share something with you: the three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: cover for me. Number 2: oh, good idea, boss! Number 3: it was like that when I got here.
- (looking at the globe map ... country being Uruguay) Hee, hee! Look at this country! You-are-gay.
- I think Smithers picked me for my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I'm around.
- I'm in no condition to drive... wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk.
- 'To start press any key'. Where's the any key?
- Rockstars... is there anything they don't know?
- (Homer the food critic) The food was not undelicious.
- Who is Fonzy !?! Don't they teach you anything at school?
- Bart, you're saying butt-kisser like it's a bad thing!
- Marge, you're paintings look like the things they look like.
- (Giving a lecture on marriage) What's a wedding? Webster's Dictionary defines a wedding as 'the process of removing weeds from one's garden.'
- Hey, I asked for ketchup! I'm eating salad here!
- I am so smart, I am so smart, s-m-r-t ... I mean s-m-A-r-t.
- Now Bart, since you broke grandpa's theeth, he gets to break yours.
- Son, being popular is the most important thing in the world.
- When I first heard that Marge was going to the police academy, I thought it would be fun and zany , like that movie Space Balls. But instead it was dark and disturbing like that movie, Police Academy.
- We live in a society of laws. Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn't hear anybody laughin', did you?
- I am 26 hours late for work. No time for Maggie.
- Kids are great, Appu. You can teach them to hate the things you hate and they practically raise themselves now-a-days, you know, with the internet and all.
- Bart: "Gee ... Sorry for being born." . Homer: "I've been waiting for so long to hear that."
- Pffft, English. Who needs that. I'm never going to England.
- Back your robots! Nobody ruins my family vacation but me! And maybe the boy.
Geen opmerkingen:
Een reactie posten